I am *so* upset... :(

[Kristianna]

Do we have a venting forum?

I am so down about so many things. My husband will not even consider moving to Alaska. And I *hate* our states homeschooling regulations. I feel like they hover over me and I really can't teach them in the way I want to. It is so frustrating. In fact, they are all going back to school next year because of it.

If we were in Alaska I could do what *I* want with my children as far as education goes.

I was actually crying about all this yesterday because I was so upset.

There was a fight at the jr./sr. high school last week and it was bad (bloody and all) and today there was another fight that the teachers couldn't even break up. This one was *very* bloody and the tail end of the fight was in my son's math class right in front of him.


I just needed to say this. I have been keeping it all bottled up and I know that isn't good for me.

K

[Freeholdfarm]

Kristianna, do I remember correctly that you are in NH? We homeschooled there for a while, and other than the yearly requirement to let them know what our curriculum was, they never bothered us. Maybe it would help if you just moved to another town in NH? Do you belong to a homeschooling organization? They can be a lot of help, and provide moral support, which is a big help!

I know what it's like to have your heart set on something, and not be able to do it because your spouse doesn't want to. But sometimes we just have to accept that we aren't going to be able to do the things we wanted to do. Do you think he would be willing to move, if it wasn't to Alaska? Could you be contented for now with maybe moving closer to homesteading in the area you are in, or another area your husband would be willing to move to, instead of Alaska?

To be honest, I wish I could get my family members to move down here. I'm concerned that we may be heading for some severe troubles of various kinds (economy, Peak Oil) and Alaska, especially out where they are, isn't going to be the easiest place to weather those troubles.

Kathleen

[Terri]

Kristianna, I met DH 32 years ago in college. His major was city and regional planning, while mine was animal science.

Needless to say, our plans were VERY! different!

We worked it out by trying to find a place where we both could be happy. Mind, life threw us a few curve balls, so things were DELAYED quite a bit. Hey, what can you do. Life happens.

At any rate, we settled on this place because it had some of what we both wanted. Easy access to town and a modern house for Ron, a bit of land for me. Since then we have also bought 5 1/2 acres outside of town with agricultural zoning. That means no zoning restrictions on my enterprises. ;D

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Tell me, what does your DH want? Is it humanly possible for him to be happy ANYWHERE in Alaska? HAs he ever been there on vacation? Can he follow his profession up there, or is delivering milk just a job for him? Is he a born-again city boy like my DH, and if so can you live on the outskirts of a small city like we do?
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For that matter, can you live ANY of the lifestyle you desire while in NH? Plan for tomorrow, yes, but live for NOW! When was the last time you went hunting or fishing? When I was healthier I went fishing several times a year even though the license cost more than the value of the crappie that I caught. I caught a LOT of crappie, but they don't have much meat on them.

It didn't matter: I craved a certain lifestyle and fishing is good for peace of mind. So is cutting wood for the fireplace, removing 2 dead trees, gardening, building a greenhouse with PVC pipe, gathering eggs from my contraband chickens, and so forth.

Please understand, I have been in your shoes. IT took me a LONG! time to get that 5 acres and I am severely limited to what I can do at home. DH gave lip service to my dreams, but made very little effort to help with them even though that was the deal. (We were going to get him set up in a job and then work on getting me a farm).

The biggest drawback, I think, was that he didn't take my career desires seriously. He couldn't see why I couldn't do everything on a smaller and easier scale in my 1 acre back yard. But there are a lot of legal restrictions in town and no, I can't.

But, I stayed with my dreams even if he did not and I eventually found a small acreage we both liked and could afford. He STILL cannot see how I can make a business out of 5 acres, but I can. And, he feels better because his long-ago promise was fullfilled and I am happy with the place.

I have started with bees, and I intend to have a lot out there. Also asparagus, blackberries, etc. These are all luxury crops that do not need a lot of land or equipment to raise, and have very high value.

Best of all, he still has his beloved city and I can FINALLY start on my dreams.

True, it is not in the mountains like we both wanted, but I can finally get my hands on things and watch my farm take shape under my own 2 hands. That is more important than mountains.

[Kristianna]

Terri ~ Thank you for your post. I needed a bit of an attitude adjustment and got one.

My husband is just trying to be realistic. He doesn't think we could ever make it in Alaska. He's not sure he would even ever want to try. So, my Alaskan dream is on hold indefinitely, perhaps even forever. (I do think that he could be happy in the Southcentral region of Alaska since it is the most like our weather here in NH).

Right now we need to focus on the tasks at hand. Paying down the remainder of our debt and make ourselves more self-sufficient right here - those are at the top of the list.

Anyway, I appreciate the time you took to type out your thoughtful post and I thank you.

Hope to see you around here more.

K

[Terri]

Actually, Kristiana, I DON'T think you need an attitude adjustment!

I just think you need to stop and smell the roses more while you plan. And, your plans sound very practical to me.

Once you folks are financially squared away, a vacation up North might be a great idea. That will help him know if he loves it or not, and give the 2 of you a chance to check out the employement opportunities and costs.

We started out in California and ended up in the Midwest. And, speaking from experience, having a job waiting is wonderfully comforting when you are moving cross country. And, we didn't even have kids yet!

OH! I almost forgot....

You might try www.homesteadingtoday.com

It lacks the Alaska angle, but it is excellent for general micro-farming information. There is also a homeschooling section.